Guess who's back

... back again. (Sorry, not really an Eminem fan.)

First of all: Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, that your New Year's Resolutions have worked out for you so far, and if you're applying to uni this year: Good luck! You're gonna make it!

I haven't poster over the Christmas break, I was back home, I didn't do all that much uni related stuff (except for finishing my essays, but oh well, they're only ever so exciting).

From the looks of it, though, this term isn't going to change all that much from that. I guess the rumour that the first term is only ever to settle in, and the second is when uni really begins is true after all.

I mean, last term I had a plan, almost a schedule I was posting after, but I don't think I will be as well-organised this time.

Because it won't just be my first year of University I'll be finishing, I will also have to be on the look out for modules, a flat and internships I can do next term. (Although "flat" might be a bit ambitious - this is London after all.)

I like to believe I have a pretty good idea what I'm doing, but let's face it, the unknown always makes the bygone troubles look a lot more appealing: Why not do finals again? Or plan my move? I mean, it worked out in the end, didn't it?

But then again, I guess 2015 will as well. It always has somehow, after all.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." --- Søren Kierkegaard

 

And the doubts come at night

Are you the kind of person that can make a decision and stick to it?

 

 

If not, then you might be a common sufferer of "Buyer's remorse", a post-decision form of cognitive dissonance - like me.

This basically means that even after having made a decision, e.g. buying a hoover, and having taken into account every aspect of implications on your life it might have before making it, you can't help but question whether it was the right one, or if another hoover for the same price would might have done a better job.

 

What I'm getting at here is, that I have clearly spent hours and hours, if not years, deciding on which course to take, what to do with my life, which uni to attend, and still I find myself wondering, sometimes, if it would have been different somewhere else, and if it would have been a better kind of different.

 

There is obviously nothing wrong with my course choice.

Attending my modules, I realise everyday that this is pretty much it for me. I am excited about and want to work in the media industry, and I know it's competitive but I can't help it.

It's just that whenever people say this about a subject that's not medicine they get weird side glances.

But believe me, even if saving people's lives would give me utter fulfilment and I would've picked medicine, I would by now be asking myself if it was the right decision, even if I had "society's approval". (Regardless of the fact that I would look at my notes for chemistry or whatever science of the week and die in the process of trying to make sense of them.)

 

There is also absolutely nothing wrong with my uni.

I especially picked it because it's the top #1 uni in the UK for my kind of choice, and this reverberates from my lecturers. I once attended a lecture by an economics tutor at Globe College Munich, and I remember myself saying to my friend afterwards: "You know, I think it really doesn't matter what you study as long as you have lecturers who are as passionate and engaging as her."

And it's true. My lecturers and tutors are all brilliant, experienced in what they're teaching us and urging us to be as passionate about their subject as we are.

Yes, the common lecturer syndrome of forgetting that their course is not the only one that's being taught is still very much apparent, but who can blame them?

I rather have a lecturer like this than someone who looks in the eyes and says with a thin voice: "The sector of your study is dead."

 

Even my fellows are exactly... like I would have expected?

I mean, I obviously knew that it's neither possible nor desirable to be friends with each and everyone. It's just this little paranoia that comes up every so often, when you're convinced that everyone is already better friends with someone else, which leaves you excluded. (Usually not the case at all, by the way, but I think a few people can relate to that.) Especially when you never had to worry about making friends... for the last ten years or so.

 



 

 

And when these moments come, it's important to remember why you came to uni, that yes, you do have friends who are there for you anyway and well... cognitive dissonance might be a bit of a pain, but hey, this only means that you've already mastered the Critical Thinking they always expect you to engage with in your modules.



Growing Up 101

Let's be honest: The scariest thought about uni is not about the stuff you are going to be taught (I mean, most people do pick a subject they're passionate about, don't they?), it's about moving a way from home and suddenly having to manage a life without mummy to turn to.

And while I would say I'm doing quite well so far, I can also not stress enough how much I am looking forward to returning home and have three course meals (well, sometimes, I mean, it's Christmas) prepared for me, my laundry turning up fresh and clean in my room and the hoover available without having to turn my student ID in.

Because my parents are the best.

And I think, well, if I was living in a college that maybe was housing about 20 people, there were a lot of obstacles I wouldn't have to face, but here are some things you should be able to do on your own without having to consultant an adult first, before you consider moving away from home ultimately:

This chart from Esquire is also extreeeemly helpful.

1. How to work a laundry machine : My personal favourite. Not just because my best friend was always raising her eyebrows at me for "being 18 and never having done my own laundry in my life", but also because it makes you feel like... such a proper adult when you hold your first bag of clean, warm, fresh smelling laundry in your hands. Figuring out how much washing liquid to use for which garments and why better not to put a bra in a tumble dryer definitely makes for less disappointment when you run out of clothing at some point of your first college weeks.
2. What can put a smile on your face when nothing else can : Unfortunately not as self-explanatory as it seems, but... It's not just that you're finally flying the nest, it's also that your friends might as well be a bit far away and the people in your seminar can be weird and the amount of coursework/your new part-time job are a bit busy so when times get hard, it is better to already know what can help you. (Because believe me, they won't give you extra time to figure it out.)
3. How to live with a little less luxury than you're used to : Okay, there are these guys who return home every weekend. But most of the students are living on a rather tight budget, and that means sometimes saying 'nope, sorry' to going out with friends, this new pair of jeans your mum would usually have paid for or even just this really delicious looking cupcake. This doesn't mean that life suddenly becomes joyless, it just means that spending money becomes a little less carefree. (And the child in you vanishes a little more. *sniff*)
4. How to cook your favourite meal : Simply because no one else will do it for you and you can have cereal only so often before it makes you want to throw your bowl out of the window.
5. How much sleep you need. Goes without saying.



Flatmates.

Sunday morning, 14/09/14

I walk into the kitchen, having just bought a bunch of bananas and hoummous from the local Sainsbury's. There is someone in the kitchen. A girl on her phone.

Because I didn't plan on vegetation lonely in my room, I walk in and start filling whatever little space is left in the fridge.

"Oh hi! Are you the new girl?"

I smile introducing myself, sliding in the seat opposite her while she finishes her lunch. Although anything with beans might be a British breakfast. Let's just say brunch.

"So when did you get here? I didn't see you all day yesterday!"

"Well...", I start, "that's probably because I arrived literally in the middle of the night. The people at the reception desk down there were nearly asleep, just handing me my keys and shoving a 'college survival box' into my hands and that was it."

"Why would you come in the middle of the night?", she asks.

"Booked the Eurostar three months in advance?"

At least she seems excited at the prospect of living together with someone from Germany. And is apparently not a football fan. Which is a big plus this year.

Soon enough I get dragged to another one of my flatmates' room, where we talk about all the things easy to talk about - school, food, movies.

It's not hard. And I strangely feel like being in boarding school again.

Later that day, my final flatmate arrives, making the artsy feeling of our flat complete:

There is a fashion design, advertising, radio production and now a photography student starting uni this year, although there are also to girls from China studying Business at a different campus, who were assigned a room on ours.

Thanks to shops being open on Sunday ("Wait, shops aren't open on Sunday in Germany? When do you guys go shopping?"), my flatmates and I soon hit the local mall, exploring this weird adulty feeling of being able to buy whatever we want to, but on the other hand having to budget with however much money we brought with us.

There's more to come, I can feel it, I feel comfortable with these people, but in the evening I still go to bed early. Whoever has once gone abroad and switched their minds to a different language might know the feeling of exhaustion that creeps in after a few hours.

It's like wanting to say: "Hey! I know English! I can understand everything perfectly fine!" but you just grow tired far too early, because your brain just isn't adjusted to it and wants to rest now, please.

So rest I did.